The Celebration of the Greatest Love

“This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends.”

            

We all need to be loved and we all need to love. However, the need to love is mostly neglected and we focus on the need to be loved because of selfishness. In fact, every living thing needs love and responds to any expression of love. Animals, plants, and humans appreciate when shown some kind of love and care. But in today’s world, love is a scarce virtue because it is not easily given. 

Many today will appear to love you because they want something from you. The real test comes when you can’t supply what they were looking for. That is when you know whether you were loved or used. But the good news is that God is love . Loving is a product of His very nature. He loves not because of you but because of Himself. So in spite of what you may have done to disappoint and disobey God, He still loves you because He is Love, and He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. 

Whatever people have done against you and to disappoint, to abuse, and hurt you, God still loves you in spite of your circumstances. And He regards you highly as His child. Yes, many whys may not have answers now, but the greatest answer is that God is Love and that He loves you! The best thing you can do now is to start loving Him back. Love Him back by obeying Him (John 14:15) and love others. Jesus said “…Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another…”

Real love is found near the heart of God, the God who is Love. There is a place of quiet rest, a place of full release, a place where all are accepted, a place where sin does not molest, a place where temptations are overcome, a place where all guilty stains are washed away, a place where love overflows, and that place that is near to the heart of the living God. That is where you will learn how to love others unconditionally. That is where you need to stay all the days of your life because you belong there...

Be blessed as you stay near to God´s heart and as you sense His presence where ever you are.

Mphatso Bello 

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love:

When talking about love in a romantic relationship most people refer to the attraction between two individuals.  But love is more than a sensation or a chemical reaction between two bodies. It is an attitude in life characterized by self-giving. It is enriched by everyday decisions to love again and it dries out when you stop cultivating acts of kindness toward the other. Love is not something that happens to us, “to love” is a verb, it is action, it is something we do.

Love applies to a romantic relationship but can also apply to family, friends, colleagues, and neighbors. Every time we put aside our ego, our personal interest, and give attention to the need of somebody else, we love. To love is to give preference to somebody outside yourself, you have to be able to see the importance, dignity, and value of others.

Even in a romantic and sexual relationship, you are to pursue the satisfaction of the person you love, not your own. If you focus only on your own satisfaction, it would be just selfish sex but not love. And love is what binds people together, not just sex.

Marriages don’t last when you marry to be happy. If you are looking for your own happiness don’t think in marriage. Marriage is hard work. Marriage requires you to make somebody happy not just for you to be happy. If your motivation to getting married is selfish, your marriage will not work. But if you really love there is hope. And yes, you will end up happy too.

Cupid does not represent love. It only represents the initial passion and attraction between two people. Love is more than that. It last longer, your whole life, if you cultivate it every day.

In the Bible, Jesus is presented as the maximum expression of love: He gave His life for our redemption. He cared for us. When you love, you give yourself to others. If you are a giver, you are a lover. If you are a taker, you are just thinking about yourself. When you move from the circle of your own interest to the interests and needs of others, you are starting to love.

Let use this valentine time to be less selfish and more giving. Let be more loving.

Daniel Martin

Happy Valentine!

 

Approaching Christmas

Christmas is the celebration of one of the biggest events in history. Because of this event our calendar was changed. This is the reason why we now write “2013”. It is because of this event that broke history in two: Before Jesus and after. A little baby was born,

very poor, so poor that nobody would guess the importance He would have in history. He had to flee the country when still a baby, the authorities wanted to kill him from the very beginning. He grew up in a village called Nazareth (that’s why He was called “Jesus of Nazareth”). He befriended the poor and the sick, he met with sinners and prostitutes, he touched the untouchables of society. He defied kings and rulers. He criticized the hypocrisy of the established religion, showing that religious rites could not replace justice and mercy. The center of His message was love. Love God and love your neighbor as yourself. He healed the sick, he freed the oppressed, He

taught us how to live a meaningful life. He came to show us the way, the truth and the life all of us need. He gave his life on a horrible cross because he was falsely accused. The innocent died as a criminal. And then, after his death more than 500 people witnessed him alive. He gave the biggest gift of Christmas. He gave himself... for me...for you. It is an undeserved gift that everybody can take to become truly free. Free from sin, free from worry, free from guilt, inspired to live a good life, an abundant life. The “Christ-mas” word means the celebration of Christ.

May the joy of Christmas fill all of our hearts. 

                                                                                               Daniel Martin

Thankfulness. Gratitude

Gratitude is an attitude in life. It is more than just saying “Thanks”. It is when you mean it. You choose to be thankful; it often doesn’t come out naturally. You decide to be thankful. You decide to recognize somebody.

Instead of reminding yourself all the things you don’t have, or you could have, you focus in enjoying what you already have. You may not like everything about your job, but you have a job. Right? You may have some discomfort, but you’re alive, you can enjoy life.

The contrary of being thankful is thinking that you deserve everything you have. 

Instead of being happy to be healthy, you could say: I am supposed to be healthy”. Or you got a degree and you say: “So what. It´s just because I studied” Or you got a new car and you think: “it is just because I paid for it!”. Being thankful is not automatic. You decide if you are going to be thankful. 

At work if somebody helps you out with something, instead of saying “Thanks”, you could just think: “that’s your job”, “you are supposed to help me out”, “that’s the reason you are here working”. But there are so many things that we do at our job without obligation, we do just out of appreciation to the other person, or compassion or just for the pleasure of helping somebody, or because we see ourselves as a team. To encourage these little gestures of cooperation we can just say:  “Thanks”.

If somebody helps you to pick up something that fell to the floor, It feels nice to be helped. Doesn’t it? And then you say: “Thank you”. Your gratitude brings a smile to the other person. This little thing brings a drop of joy to your life. It boosts your energy level, it pushes you forward, and you feel happy to be alive. Being thankful is very powerful. That’s why people say that to be happy is a choice. And one part of it is to decide to be thankful. 

I have a friend in Mozambique, Africa. Domingo is an old man. He is very poor. But he is an example of happiness for me. With my wife we asked ourselves: What’s the secret of this person´s happiness? And we discover it: It is because he doesn’t think he deserves anything he has. Everything he gets is like a gift for him and he is so thankful for it. Don’t take anything for granted. That’s one of the secrets of happiness.

You can be thankful to God: For being alive, for having a job, for having a family, or friends, or for your senses (being able to see for example).

Gratitude produces happiness. It brings joy to your life. Being thankful is more than just saying “Thanks”. But saying it, is great!

Daniel Martin

Forgive 2

Unforgiveness is "Punishing yourself for

Daniel Martin

something someone else did."

Forgiveness is not an emotion but a choice. The desire to forgive, may or may not be present. What is important is that you choose to forgive. Feelings are tailored to circumstance. If you choose to forgive, feelings are going to adapt to that. The choice to forgive is like a key. No matter how big the door, if you have the key, you can open it. Forgiveness is possible. We forgive because we were forgiven by God.

Emmanuel Mutangana from Rwanda, tells us that when he was 12 years old he was called out of school because his father had been murdered. When he saw his younger brothers and his mother crying, he decided not to cry, and he didn't. He just concentrated in living to avenge the murder of his father. He didn't laugh again, either. He blocked his emotions. But music helped him to get to know about God and His love and finally, he decided to receive forgiveness and to forgive as well. He says: "I was freed of the weight of sadness, bitterness, and anger when I forgave."

When to forgive?

1. When you feel like forgiving? Corrie Ten Boom says: “You can’t. I can’t. But Jesus in us can.” You make the decision to forgive and God gives you the strength. Watch Corrie Ten Boom sharing this experience: 

2. When the offender is truly sorry? Or when he asks for forgiveness?

Jesus forgave his executioners before they asked for forgiveness. They had not even repented! "...forgive them, for they do not know what they do." They were adults , they knew what they were doing. They might have realized his innocence (as Pilate did) But, Jesus looked at their hearts and saw that they did not understand the magnitude of what they were doing. And we have to have this same attitude. Look at the aggressor as "an ignorant" (somebody that doesn't understand the magnitude of the damage he or she is doing).

Forgiveness is not something passive. It doesn't expect the other person to act. It makes the first move.

What keeps us from forgiving ?

Our pride. Our emotional pain. We are wounded and want the other person to pay for what he/she did. We're afraid of being misunderstood when forgiving (that we may justify the bad behavior, or that we are resigning to our rights, or that we lack self-esteem).

How to forgive?

1. First make the decision. Forgive in your heart. And every time the memory of the pain returns, say: "it's already forgiven" until the pain becomes weaker.

2. Pray for the offender. Jesus said: "Pray for those who persecute you." But, pray and wish good things for that person.

3. Then, if possible, show love and compassion to whoever hurt you. You are not submitting to the aggressor. You are not justifying his or her violence,  or lack of care, you just decide not to retaliate.

Lack of forgiveness is like moorings of a boat that blocks it from it’s capacity to navegate freely. Now, like a boat that looses its moorings and navigates life... Start to enjoy the freedom and peace that forgiveness gives you. You are the first beneficiary of your forgiveness.

Daniel Martin

danielmartinusa@hotmail.com

Forgive

All my life I have studied about forgiveness, from the perspective of the Bible,

from psychology , sociology , and its influence on human health, I have always tried to practice forgiveness ... but so far I am struggling. I find it hard to forgive (It is not a virtue , I 'm ashamed to say that, but it is the truth). Whenever I get offended, I have to think about it, repent of my anger, forgive in my heart, and seek to approach with love the person who hurt me. As I am an expert in being offended, I had to become an expert in forgiveness. We cannot live happily without forgiving, we cannot live without forgiving. The lack of forgiveness is like moorings that keep us from moving forward. If you want to enjoy marriage, or family, or friendship, you have to learn to forgive.

An aerostatic balloon cannot fly until it is released from its moorings and weights. It cannot go up and fulfill its purpose for which it was created. If we  don't forgive we get stuck.

Jesus taught us to pray: “Forgive us for doing wrong, as we forgive others...”. If we want God’s forgiveness, we have to forgive, too.

What is forgiveness?

• It is important to differentiate forgiving from apologizing. I apologize when I did something wrong and I recognize my fault. To forgive is when somebody did something wrong to me and I decide to let it go.

Not forgiving produces bitterness, hatred. It makes me remember the hurt and anger I feel towards the person that hurt me, or disrespected me. Too many people hurt us every day by not respecting us , by ignoring us, or mistreating us in many ways... we can not live without forgiving. WE MUST LEARN TO FORGIVE IN ORDER TO LIVE. Unforgiveness damages our health, our relationships, our work performance, it affects our sleep, it takes away years of life, depresses us, it takes away the strength to live, to smile. Unforgiveness hurts us, destroys us.

Unforgiveness is "Punishing yourself for something someone else did."

Next week I’ll share examples of forgiveness. I hope you will be inspired...

Daniel Martin

http://workplacewis.blogspot.com/

Tell yourself the truth

Renee Descartes ( XVII Century ) devoted his life to uncover the  clear and indubitable truth . He systematically doubted everything. To doubt everything is to think. He then reasoned that if he was thinking , surely  he existed. Hence the phrase that defines the thinking of Descartes : "I think, therefore I am" .

 

Marco Aurelio was another thinker. He was a Roman Emperor around 170 A.D. He also sought the truth . He discovered that human emotions are not just random products of circumstances , they are determined by the way you think. So, where Descartes said: "I think, therefore I am". Marco Aurelio would have said, "I think and so I determine my personality ".

 

"For as he thinks within himself, so he is." Prov. 23:7

 

We are creatures full of mental energy, emotional and physical. When we clear the irrationalities and lies of our thoughts and replace them with the truth we can live a satisfying life. A life that is rich and emotionally fulfilling.

 

Jesus said "I am the truth", and also "you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free".

 

The cause of our feelings is not necessarily those childhood or current experiences. Our feelings are caused by what we tell ourselves about our circumstances. It can be words or attitudes. What we tell ourselves can be true or false. If you repeat to yourself: “I'm a fool" or “I do nothing well”, you will start to believe it and you will act accordingly.

 

Erroneous beliefs are the direct cause of emotional storms , maladaptive behavior , and most so-called "mental illness". Erroneous beliefs usually appear as true for the person who is repeating them to him/herself. This is because there is almost always some truth in it and because the sufferer doesn't examine or question these assumptions. But we must realize that if it is a lie, it comes from hell and it is instilled in our minds by the devil himself. He does not want to risk being discovered, so he makes the lies look like truth to us. Words like: "I can not do anything right”, or “I always do " are good examples. You'll be more vulnerable to believe these statements, specially after making a mistake.

 

James 3:15 tells us where this self destructive conversation comes from. "That is not the wisdom that comes from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual  devilish." Negative and distorted statements that a person repeats, comes from the devil. Our immature nature accepts it without questioning and then, as spoiled food, these words create mental poison, painful emotional aches and pains. This deadly toxins diet ends up killing you. Paul says, "The mind of sinful man is death..." (Rom.8:6). God wants us to be able to have control over our feelings and our actions.

 

1. Misbelief: I must please people . My actions should not displease others or make them to disapprove me. This would be intolerable.

TRUTH: A healthy person does not have to fight for the approval of all those around him/her.

 

2. Misbelief: It would be terrible if nobody speaks to me at a social gathering. It would be terrible to be selfconcious and nervous.

TRUTH: I can enjoy wherever I go. I do not necessarily have to have someone to talk to, to have a nice time. Being by myself is not going to kill me.

 

3. Misbelief: Others may be happy, others may experience God, others may change their beliefs, others can be free of anxiety, depression and anger, but not me.

TRUTH: I can change my emotions like everybody else. I can adapt and be happy no matter the experience or circumstances in which I find myself . I can do it!

 

Homework: If you find yourself repeating similar misbeliefs, try to find the Truth that answers to that lie. Repeat the truth instead of your misbelief every time you remember it until the truth becomes part of your normal thinking.

 

Definition of happiness

Cheerful. Grateful. Friendly. Kind. Connected. With a clear mind.

Free to serve without unresolved outstanding issues.

Motivated to grow. Inspired. Inspiring. Generous. Laughing.

Able to play and live in the present.

To be happy I must be at peace with God, with others and with myself.

 

 

 

Daniel Martin

danielmartinusa@hotmail.com