Thankfulness. Gratitude

Gratitude is an attitude in life. It is more than just saying “Thanks”. It is when you mean it. You choose to be thankful; it often doesn’t come out naturally. You decide to be thankful. You decide to recognize somebody.

Instead of reminding yourself all the things you don’t have, or you could have, you focus in enjoying what you already have. You may not like everything about your job, but you have a job. Right? You may have some discomfort, but you’re alive, you can enjoy life.

The contrary of being thankful is thinking that you deserve everything you have. 

Instead of being happy to be healthy, you could say: I am supposed to be healthy”. Or you got a degree and you say: “So what. It´s just because I studied” Or you got a new car and you think: “it is just because I paid for it!”. Being thankful is not automatic. You decide if you are going to be thankful. 

At work if somebody helps you out with something, instead of saying “Thanks”, you could just think: “that’s your job”, “you are supposed to help me out”, “that’s the reason you are here working”. But there are so many things that we do at our job without obligation, we do just out of appreciation to the other person, or compassion or just for the pleasure of helping somebody, or because we see ourselves as a team. To encourage these little gestures of cooperation we can just say:  “Thanks”.

If somebody helps you to pick up something that fell to the floor, It feels nice to be helped. Doesn’t it? And then you say: “Thank you”. Your gratitude brings a smile to the other person. This little thing brings a drop of joy to your life. It boosts your energy level, it pushes you forward, and you feel happy to be alive. Being thankful is very powerful. That’s why people say that to be happy is a choice. And one part of it is to decide to be thankful. 

I have a friend in Mozambique, Africa. Domingo is an old man. He is very poor. But he is an example of happiness for me. With my wife we asked ourselves: What’s the secret of this person´s happiness? And we discover it: It is because he doesn’t think he deserves anything he has. Everything he gets is like a gift for him and he is so thankful for it. Don’t take anything for granted. That’s one of the secrets of happiness.

You can be thankful to God: For being alive, for having a job, for having a family, or friends, or for your senses (being able to see for example).

Gratitude produces happiness. It brings joy to your life. Being thankful is more than just saying “Thanks”. But saying it, is great!

Daniel Martin

Forgive 2

Unforgiveness is "Punishing yourself for

Daniel Martin

something someone else did."

Forgiveness is not an emotion but a choice. The desire to forgive, may or may not be present. What is important is that you choose to forgive. Feelings are tailored to circumstance. If you choose to forgive, feelings are going to adapt to that. The choice to forgive is like a key. No matter how big the door, if you have the key, you can open it. Forgiveness is possible. We forgive because we were forgiven by God.

Emmanuel Mutangana from Rwanda, tells us that when he was 12 years old he was called out of school because his father had been murdered. When he saw his younger brothers and his mother crying, he decided not to cry, and he didn't. He just concentrated in living to avenge the murder of his father. He didn't laugh again, either. He blocked his emotions. But music helped him to get to know about God and His love and finally, he decided to receive forgiveness and to forgive as well. He says: "I was freed of the weight of sadness, bitterness, and anger when I forgave."

When to forgive?

1. When you feel like forgiving? Corrie Ten Boom says: “You can’t. I can’t. But Jesus in us can.” You make the decision to forgive and God gives you the strength. Watch Corrie Ten Boom sharing this experience: 

2. When the offender is truly sorry? Or when he asks for forgiveness?

Jesus forgave his executioners before they asked for forgiveness. They had not even repented! "...forgive them, for they do not know what they do." They were adults , they knew what they were doing. They might have realized his innocence (as Pilate did) But, Jesus looked at their hearts and saw that they did not understand the magnitude of what they were doing. And we have to have this same attitude. Look at the aggressor as "an ignorant" (somebody that doesn't understand the magnitude of the damage he or she is doing).

Forgiveness is not something passive. It doesn't expect the other person to act. It makes the first move.

What keeps us from forgiving ?

Our pride. Our emotional pain. We are wounded and want the other person to pay for what he/she did. We're afraid of being misunderstood when forgiving (that we may justify the bad behavior, or that we are resigning to our rights, or that we lack self-esteem).

How to forgive?

1. First make the decision. Forgive in your heart. And every time the memory of the pain returns, say: "it's already forgiven" until the pain becomes weaker.

2. Pray for the offender. Jesus said: "Pray for those who persecute you." But, pray and wish good things for that person.

3. Then, if possible, show love and compassion to whoever hurt you. You are not submitting to the aggressor. You are not justifying his or her violence,  or lack of care, you just decide not to retaliate.

Lack of forgiveness is like moorings of a boat that blocks it from it’s capacity to navegate freely. Now, like a boat that looses its moorings and navigates life... Start to enjoy the freedom and peace that forgiveness gives you. You are the first beneficiary of your forgiveness.

Daniel Martin

danielmartinusa@hotmail.com

Forgive

All my life I have studied about forgiveness, from the perspective of the Bible,

from psychology , sociology , and its influence on human health, I have always tried to practice forgiveness ... but so far I am struggling. I find it hard to forgive (It is not a virtue , I 'm ashamed to say that, but it is the truth). Whenever I get offended, I have to think about it, repent of my anger, forgive in my heart, and seek to approach with love the person who hurt me. As I am an expert in being offended, I had to become an expert in forgiveness. We cannot live happily without forgiving, we cannot live without forgiving. The lack of forgiveness is like moorings that keep us from moving forward. If you want to enjoy marriage, or family, or friendship, you have to learn to forgive.

An aerostatic balloon cannot fly until it is released from its moorings and weights. It cannot go up and fulfill its purpose for which it was created. If we  don't forgive we get stuck.

Jesus taught us to pray: “Forgive us for doing wrong, as we forgive others...”. If we want God’s forgiveness, we have to forgive, too.

What is forgiveness?

• It is important to differentiate forgiving from apologizing. I apologize when I did something wrong and I recognize my fault. To forgive is when somebody did something wrong to me and I decide to let it go.

Not forgiving produces bitterness, hatred. It makes me remember the hurt and anger I feel towards the person that hurt me, or disrespected me. Too many people hurt us every day by not respecting us , by ignoring us, or mistreating us in many ways... we can not live without forgiving. WE MUST LEARN TO FORGIVE IN ORDER TO LIVE. Unforgiveness damages our health, our relationships, our work performance, it affects our sleep, it takes away years of life, depresses us, it takes away the strength to live, to smile. Unforgiveness hurts us, destroys us.

Unforgiveness is "Punishing yourself for something someone else did."

Next week I’ll share examples of forgiveness. I hope you will be inspired...

Daniel Martin

http://workplacewis.blogspot.com/